“When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else.” – Iyanla Vanzant
We often hear that sharing your journey is supposed to be part of your healing process. There are stories of those who started from the bottom but rose to success and of those who were already at the top but fell from grace. Some were sick, yet can now share stories of physical healing. Others discuss how they learn to process the uncertainty of life. But speaking about your particular situation is supposed an ingredient in the “magic pill” of healing. Soul bearing is presented in books, on talk shows, even in some religions, as an elixir that will fix all that ails you. So you bear your soul. You open yourself up to your family, your social media friends, the world in some cases… and poof you should be healed right?! Wrong.
In the generation of instant gratification let me be one to say that the immediate after effects of opening up do not include healing. Let me explain.
It is like cutting yourself at a well-attended dinner party. It’s an open wound that is available for viewing. It is embarrassing. Any other time it would be easy to run to the bathroom and hide to react but to stay and allow others to witness what is happening firsthand; that is much harder. It’s not going to be immediately enjoyable either. It’s not even immediately gratifying when people you know and love acknowledge that you’re hurt. You will feel the gratitude when people say, “hey I hope your feel better” or “wow I had no idea.” And of course I am thinking- no shit you didn’t that’s why I showed you.
Know I say that with a huge and totally authentic smile!
Like any open wound, healing comes with time and care. I recently opened up to my Snap Chat friends about some of my struggles as it relates to my temporal lobe epilepsy. I snapped my stories as soon as I thought about it because I knew that if I pondered it too long, I would talk myself out of it. After my series of snaps, I felt every way I described previously. LOL! There was no instant feeling of empowered healing, even though I was courageous enough at that moment to put that one step forward and start the process. Healing is a marathon. Not a sprint. Personally, my journey will rely on my ability to stay consistently transparent. Admittedly I have an issue with consistency….Smiling again.
So while I do believe that sharing is essential to growth and healing, I just do not want you to forget the pain that is involved during the process. I look forward to sharing more of my journey with you. I hope there are those of you who will brace yourselves for the pain, and share your stories with me too.
The Woman Who Will Bare All